09 January 2007

The need to repeat the factors of my position

(copy of a letter)

I am afraid I am likely to repeat myself in writing to you, but this is because I know that believers in society are unlikely to remember anything which a victim of society says to them except what is compatible with the approved social way of looking at their situation. (This is the way counsellors are recommended to proceed.)

So I may have said before, but will say again, that the educational and academic system cannot but be geared against ability if those who have the power to make decisions about other people are motivated to demonstrate that innate ability does not naturally correspond to a much higher level of achievement, in terms of both quality and quantity, than less remarkable ability. In order to bring about equality of outcome it is necessary to restrict the opportunities of the able, by deprivation of opportunity to take exams so long as they are supposed to be being educated, and by deprivation of money to keep them as inactive as possible in adult life (i.e. when they have been thrown out).

In fact everyone in my life has always behaved as if they understood this and the greatest storms have arisen whenever I was on the verge of getting an opportunity to take a public exam in a favourable way, or acquiring a financial advantage or a new associate who might relieve the constriction of my position.

I should also repeat that as soon as I was thrown out (50 years ago), I knew that my life could not become tolerable again until I was rich enough to provide myself with an institutional (hotel) environment, and also had the status of an Oxbridge professor.

Everything I have done ever since has been aimed at working towards one or both of these objectives. Most of my efforts have been made as abortive as possible, but my position now is just marginally less painful than 50 years ago, although still not the equivalent of that of a Professor with a research department to run and a residential college environment to provide hotel facilities.

The idea of anything I can do in my present circumstances being ‘interesting’ or rewarding to me in any way is ludicrous. I do not regard writing as a positive activity; it is chore which is dependent on one’s energy level, the energy level having to be raised by other activities. I regard it as a form of output rather than input.